Spring is slowly showing up all around us. I remember a time when the very idea of spring would send me into a state of panic... March Madness had a whole different meaning for me.
Everyone knows spring is the gateway to swimsuit season. Ugh!
A few days ago, I had a flashback to the feeling of dread and desperation I would experience with every flip of the calendar bringing me closer to summer.
There was a point when I seriously considered liposuction. I knew I would need it in at least 4 different areas and it would be costly. I wasn’t afraid of going under the knife. With 14 surgeries under my belt for various health reasons, I figured one more wouldn’t be that big of a deal.
I was over the whole working out thing. I wasn’t losing any significant weight and I sure wasn’t losing inches and had a vicious loop of negative self-talk I couldn’t shut off.
Desperate times...If I had unlimited funds during this period, it totally would have happened. I even went so far as researching different plastic surgeons in my area.
My life would have gone in a completely different direction had a opted for surgery.
I don’t know if I would have ever gotten off of the hamster wheel. I know, without a doubt, the surgery wouldn’t have fixed my headspace or my health. Those changes had to come with me doing the work.
Taking responsibility for my health and weight by choosing the seemingly harder path, was where my self-confidence, happiness and courage, was born.
I’m happy to say this is the second year in a row now that dread has taken a hiatus. Instead of panic, I feel joy and excitement for the magic and rebirth that happens during this season.
I’m also grateful that I don’t always get what I want, but I always get what I need even if I don’t see it while I’m in it.